"The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what other people think."
I recently heard this quote and boy, oh boy, did it resonate. Several people have been quoted as saying it from Louis Armstrong to David Icke. So my apologies if I haven't given the correct person credit, but thank you whoever you are!
Last week, I had a catch up with my mentor. A man that towers above me and provides such insightful advice and direction (even when I am too scared to hear it).
The topic of fear popped up when he asked me what is stopping me doing x, y, and z (and no we weren't talking mathematics equations...) for the Mental Health Pack organisation. Well, fear was my immediate response, which I reckon may strike a chord with a few of you reading this!
The fear response of "Fight, flight or freeze" is a natural physiological reaction triggered in response to a perceived threat or danger. It's one of the body's instinctual survival mechanisms.(ChatGPT sourced quote).
The problem is, there are no sabre tooth tigers chasing me.
What is chasing me is my very own fear demon, known to me as Nickoffski. He is a stealthy, lurking version of the Sabre Tooth Tiger and resides permanently in my head.
He stirs when I get momentum; when I make progress, start feeling good, when approaching my "zone of genius" as Dr G. Hendricks says in his book called 'The Big Leap'. Then he makes himself comfy whilst nudging me ever so gently with a cattle prod maxed out at 2,000 volts.
We all have it to some degree of ferocity. Whether it stems from past trauma, or conditioning, it happens.
In my case, it forces me into the 'Freeze' response and I just go blank. I seize up. I find it hard to control my focus. Frankly, I detest Nickoffski. He turns up and my team of neurons firing along instantly scatter and seek refuge in the abyss of my brain.
Sounds similar to the black dog, yeah?
Antidote to Nickoffski - Fear and Depression
Here is how I manage it for me, and this is aimed squarely at what works for me as I am not a qualified psychologist/psychiatrist.
I reset
When I am lucky enough to recognise his presence, I simply get up from my desk, and head outside and walk barefoot in the grass, or make a tea/coffee and sit with one of my team (aka, one the two crazy cocker spaniels, see below) and focus on my breathing to calm the mind and get the neuron minions back in order.
My support cheerleader, Miss Obie.
I regroup
On return to the office, I take a pad and pen and write a list of what I need to do to get back on track with my headphones on.
I refocus
Focussing is not easy with ADHD*. I then close everything down; the door to my office, reboot the laptop to clear the open distractions, email off, crank the focus-music on Spotify, and ensure my desk is clear of clutter (again, ADHD* attracts clutter to my desk!).
Just one thing, hey Curly? Fear and Depression be gone!
I then open up one app or program on my laptop without the other items distracting me, and I write. And I write.
I write this blog/article. I write some notes towards my book. I write a journal entry. I just start writing and see where the literary-wind takes me.
And, 3, 2, 1....and we're back talking Fear and Depression
So that is my tonic for progress and keeping Nickoffski at bay. It works for me and my brain. It may not work for everyone, but a physical reset for me works wonders and here I am now this very second together with you reading this, several words ahead of where I was 30 minutes ago in a tussle with Nickoffski and now feeling like I am back on track again. FEAR BE GONE!
Well, the fear will still linger. It is like a cloud in the sky, sometimes it blocks the sun, but it is only momentary. It will go and the sun will shine again. Similar to anxiety and/or depression. The sun is always shining, we just need to wait for the clouds to go away.
Thanks for sharing my dance-fest with Nickoffski, the fear mongering giant in my head.
If you feel comfortable, please share your tonic for dealing with the fear response.
Until next week's article of Nick's head goodness graces the airwaves of LinkedIn, stay safe, sing out if you need to talk, and be kind to yourself. Especially you, fellahs.
(Now breathing sigh of relief as I sign off feeling bloody fantastic knowing I moved forward, even just an inch, I moved forward and hope you can too with my tried and tested for me plan of action...).
* Before anyone asks, I was officially diagnosed with ADHD in 2006 by a psychiatrist in Sydney.
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